What I’ve Learned My First Year as a Mom!!

Let’s chat about what I’ve learned my first year as a mom. It was always my dream to be a mother. I’ve told you guys about my sweet baby boy in previous posts. There were times that I thought it would never happen. I met my husband and he had a daughter so God blessed me twice with motherhood. Although she isn’t mine I have tried to be the best mother figure I could be for her. But nothing beats the day I found out I was pregnant with my son. That was the greatest day of my life.

Timing was everything

Tariq and I talked about having children before we got married. He didn’t really want to have any more kids. Since he knew it was what I truly wanted, he agreed to it. We waited until after we got married to try getting pregnant. I had some apprehension due to the fact that I have PCOS and when I went to a specialist they couldn’t find any eggs. (Which I later found out that I had no eggs since I was on birth control pills for so long). The year leading up to us trying we worked hard to get my health stable and cut out as much debt as possible.

I went to a family planning appointment with my new OB/GYN. We talked about what I needed to do to get pregnant. I was overweight so the first goal was I needed to lose 30 lbs according to him. After I had that appointment my husband and I talked it over and we decided to start trying at the end of December 2017.

The Mom Plan

We came up with a plan to jump things off. I researched apps that could help me get pregnant. I came across some really great reviews for the Ela app. So many people were saying how the app helped them to get pregnant because of how precise it was. I decided to give Ela a try.

The next step was to get off the pill. The doctor told me it would take about a month for the pills to get out of my system and for my body to develop eggs. That meant that I needed to stop taking the pill at the top of December. Another part of my plan was prayer. There was A LOT of praying during this preparation time. I prayed that my period would come when it was supposed to, last for the right amount of time and that I would become fruitful.

My period came that December and then January. By the first week in February, I was pregnant! When I tell you this blew my mind, it really and truly did. It was unexpected that I was going to get pregnant so quickly.

The Pregnancy…

Ok, so I was one of those people who knew immediately that I was pregnant. I knew before I even took the test. This is going to sound crazy but it was like I could feel everything getting into its proper position. I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to “jinx” anything. Then my husband noticed too. Once he started seeing subtle differences in me, we both said let’s take the test.

So, one night we took the test and it came back positive. I cried, laughed, started shaking. I’m pretty sure I experienced every emotion in that moment. I was so thankful that it was finally my turn. The next step was to make a doctor’s appointment for a pregnancy confirmation. When they confirmed it, I was overjoyed. By the way, the only thing I did differently was became vegetarian and lost like 10 lbs. I proved my OB/GYN wrong when he said I had to lose 30 lbs in order to get pregnant. But then reality struck.

I was really about to be someone’s mom. There was a little human inside of me that I’m responsible for from that day on. I was 6 weeks pregnant at the time of my confirmation appointment. It was like right after the appointment I started getting morning sickness. Morning sickness was no joke. I was surviving off of ginger ale and french fries lol. Then after that the heartburn, oh my gosh, it was out of control. I had heartburn my entire pregnancy and as he got bigger the worst it got. After I was out of the first trimester it was smooth sailing from there.

Delivery…

The day I went into labor I had no idea what was going on. The contractions I had did not feel like Braxton-Hicks at all. Thank God my mom was at my house with me and my husband. I had to throw up then move my bowels simultaneously. She actually told me I was in labor. We counted how many contractions I had in an hour. I called the doctor’s office once I hit 15 contractions in an hour. They gave me the go-ahead to make our way to the hospital.

That was the longest day of my life. I was in labor for 23 hours. Why so long you ask? I didn’t dilate past 4cm. The doctor checked the contractions to see if they were strong enough, which they were. My little boy was just not trying to move down. This meant I had to get a c-section. Stuff got real when they told me that. I wasn’t ready because I had it in my head that I was going to have him vaginally.

Yup I’m still in labor…

I was told it would only take 20 minutes to get him out. Eh, wrong answer it took them close to 45 minutes to get my son out. The doctor was having the worse time getting my baby out of my abdomen. She was yanking and pulling, she needed a stool to stand on for leverage. She actually asked me if I worked out because she couldn’t break through my stomach muscles.

Then on 11/29/18 at 4:44 am she finally pulled my sweet boy out. Tariq said he came out with a smile on his face. He was the most beautiful sight that I have ever seen. Best of all he was the gift God gave me. Ever since then we have been attached at the hip.

Being his mom…

Now I have entered this new role in my life, being a mother. I absolutely adored my new baby, we all did. I made a vow to him that I was going to be the best mom I could be for him. We began our journey together.

In the beginning, I was extremely protective of my son. I didn’t let too many people touch him or even be around him. I was there giving him every single thing that he needed. That was actually a mistake but we can talk about that at another time. I was spreading myself thin trying to be everything for him. This is when I learned to give up the reigns some times.

There was always this idea I had to start educating my child while he was very young. When he reached about two months I started to teach him the alphabet, how to count and spell all of our names. I know he couldn’t understand me then but that didn’t stop me. I was sowing seeds into my son that I know are going to flourish and help him in the long run.

My job as a mom…

My son is on a regimen every day. When he wakes up in the morning I give him his morning bottle and we do our lessons for the day. Marquis is actually a fast learner and super curious. He makes teaching him easy. Now that he is becoming more vocal he is able to say some of his letters, among other things. When I first noticed he was saying his letter and trying to read my heart melted.

As a mother, I feel like it’s my job to not just take care of my son but to give him a gentle nudge to be better. My desire is for him to be better than me, my husband, and the rest of the family. I recognized very early that Marquis is extremely intelligent. He was born with a smile on his face and was very observant after being only hours old.

So Far…

This year has been so much fun. I truly love being his mom. There isn’t a day that goes by where my son doesn’t entertain or amazes me. Like I said above he is a fast learner. Once I understood that Marquis picked up on things quickly, that’s when I decided to go step by step on what and how I taught him.

Here are a few examples. When Marquis was one month old he was able to hold his bottle. Shortly thereafter, he started to swipe on my phone. He was also starting to make sounds and coo. By noticing that my son was capable of reaching certain milestones pretty early, is what made me take it a step further and push him.

During this year I also learned quite a bit about myself. It surprised me how far I have been able to stretch myself. I never truly thought of myself as a teacher. Now, there have been times that I played with the idea of becoming a teacher but that idea was always tossed to the side. So the fact that Marquis is learning so much from me actually makes me extremely happy. It’s not just that I am teaching him things but I have found ways to teach him so that he can grasp it.

Mom Journey Continues…

I’m sure you have heard people say this but my patience and compassion have also stretched since becoming a mom. Let me tell you something about the old me. I had very little patience for anything really. Due to the many difficult situations that I have experienced in my past, there was absolutely no compassion for others. Now that I have my son there is no choice but to be patient and compassionate. I find myself not being as short with people and less angry. I don’t take things as seriously as I have in the past. Having a little person just softened me up.

All babies get sick, right? It seemed like when Marquis got sick I wanted to beat myself up about it. Honestly, this is going to happen regardless of you keeping them in the house all of the time. I really had to get that in my head if he’s around people he will get sick if they are sick. One thing that I will do is make sure when he’s around a lot of different people and they may touch him, I will clean his hands and face. I find that this will cut down on the amount of germs he comes in contact with.

Finally…

Finally, for the sake of this post at least, lol. I had to learn to take other people’s advice. When it comes to my son I had this mentality that I didn’t want to hear anyone else’s advice. This was not a healthy habit to have. Other people may have some really great advice that could be extremely helpful for your situation. There have been times when I’m just overwhelmed as a new mom. Welcoming veteran mom’s advice was a stress reliever. It also opened my eyes to different ways to do things with my baby.

Conclusion

As you can tell I have learned a good amount in my first year of motherhood. I actually believe that motherhood started as soon as I found out I was pregnant. From that moment on I had another life to take care of besides my own. God blessed me with this wonderfully special gift to be Marquis’s mom. I thank Him every day for this opportunity.

Psalms 25:13 NCV They will enjoy a good life, and their children will inherit the land.

Are you a mom? Let’s chat about some of the things that you have learned in your motherhood journey. You can find me on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter @itsashleyjw. Also on YouTube @It’s Ashley J’s.