How to Start a Great Online Relationship!

Let’s chat about how to start a great online relationship! Online dating is not taboo anymore. Everyone is finding love online now and days. Heck, my husband and I met online 7 years ago. Before meeting him I met and dated a few people online. The internet is making this world go round. So why not find love on it.

When I was online looking for love I had to learn a few tricks of the trade. This is a step by step guide to finding a lasting relationship online. I came up with this technique years ago to weed out the clowns, and creeps. I’ve given these tips to friends and they found success with them as well. Are you ready to stop wasting your time? This guide is to help you find a meaningful relationship. Here are my do’s and don’ts for dating online.

Online Dating Do’s

Online Step 1: Find a reputable dating site.

To start off you want to join a site that has a good success rate and has a good amount of people who are on the site. You want to make sure the site is trustworthy and has the type of people you are looking for. The sites I’ve tried in the past gave me exactly what I was looking for at that time. It took me a long time to understand this concept. So when I was ready to give up on finding love that’s when I joined a site that gave me what I wanted. Make sure you do your research on these sites before signing up!

Online Step 2: Sign up for the site you chose.

After you completed your research and found a site you want to join, sign up. By signing up to the site you are saying you’re ready to take some essential steps in your love life. Just before you hit the join button, ask yourself if you are ready. Check and make sure you have the right intentions for joining the site. I caution you that if you aren’t truly ready for love that can last a lifetime then I suggest not joining this site. Trust me, when this love comes it can knock the air out of you if you aren’t completely ready for it.

Online Step 3: Create an eye-popping profile.

Now is where we have to do a little work. Take some time to think about what your profile is going to be like. Who are you going to attract with your profile? What message are you sending out with it? Make sure you have your selfie game on point. When I was setting up my profiles I always stuck with posting 5 pictures at the most of me. This way I was able to have pictures of my beautiful face and then other pictures of me doing various things. Such as pictures of me at a party, or in the middle of an activity.

Another reason why I stuck with 5 pictures is I wanted to keep some mystery in my profile. I wanted to keep a piece of me out of the profile. I felt like the mystery would help keep the conversation going. If you put everything about you on your profile then there won’t be anything to talk about. Talk about what you want and expect from a partner. Talk about your interests. Be fun with this. Provide the type of profile that will attract many people without overdoing it.

Online Step 4: Take a virtual tour

The best way to get to know what type of site you joined is to explore it. Get to know the lay of the land sort of speak. Find what the different features are, and how to contact someone you’re interested in. You just want to know where to go if you need to report someone. (Hopefully, things won’t get to that point). Also, look to see if there are any groups on the site that you can join. While you’re checking out the site, see if there is anybody that you find attractive or who’s profile you like.

Step 5: Click on a profile that piques your interest.

I know this may sound like it’s a useless tip but there is a reason for me telling you this. If it takes a little while for you to see some action. Or if you sent someone a message or liked their profile and they hadn’t return the favor don’t fall in the trap. The trap is just looking or picking the profiles that you thought were nice but you really weren’t into that person. But I want you to be bold and click on the profile that you like. You never know what could happen.

Step 6: Send a message to say Hi

This is a suggestion that I was always nervous to do. Why? Because I was afraid of rejection. But I did do it a couple of times. All you have to say is, “Hi handsome or beautiful I enjoyed your profile. Hopefully, we can chat soon.” That’s it plain and simple. You are showing interest and also leaving the ball in their court. You’re also being a little flirtatious.

Step 7: Wait for a reply

Once you sent that message to the person you’re interested in, wait. Give them a chance to respond back to you before you sent another message. I know that this part can be agonizing but that’s what you have to do. You don’t want to seem too eager. Becoming too eager sends off the wrong message and we don’t want that.

Step 8: Hold a conversation

This next step has less anxiety involved. It can be really fun to have a conversation with someone new. When you are talking to that person, with some luck, there is a mutual attraction. Those future conversations can be exciting. Take the conversations slow but get to know as much information as you can. At least enough to know whether there is a real connection with that person.

Step 9: Exchange numbers

Of course, all of my tips are left to your discretion. But, one thing I did when I was dating online was exchanged numbers when I was comfortable. It usually took me about 3 weeks of emails before I was ready to exchange numbers. This was just when I became comfortable with a guy. It was just long enough for me to see through the mess and decipher who was real or not. This step might vary depending on the person. My suggestion is to be sure you want to exchange numbers with someone before doing it.

Step 10: Plan the meetup or date

After all the long conversations emails, and texts it’s finally time to see each other in person. That’s right let’s plan the first meetup or date! How exciting is that? Yes, there is a difference between meetup and date. This needs to be at a public place, agree on a restaurant or coffee shop. If you are going to do a meetup keep it casual. Go to a heavily populated park walk around and talk. If it is a date then go somewhere romantic but where it’s easy enough to talk. Whatever the two of you decide to let it be something that you both plan.

Online Dating Don’t

Step 1: Fall for scams or spam

Unfortunately, this will happen. I had someone send me a message on a dating site. The whole look and feel of the message didn’t feel right. At first, the only thing I did was ignore him. Then he kept sending me messages so I finally had to tell him to stop messaging me I wasn’t interested and blocked him. There is someone I know who started to date online. They were talking to a man in a different country. After about a month of talking the man came up with an elaborate story about his business and needed money.

Fortunately, she had her wits about her and knew that this didn’t sound right. She shared the situation with me and I confirmed her feelings. Her next move was to tell him that she didn’t believe him and asked him to leave her alone. Don’t be someone in this situation. If someone doesn’t sound like they are on the up and up then they probably aren’t.

Step 2: Beware of the overly eager.

The people who fall into this category are typically on the site for a hookup. I cannot tell you how many times I was sent messages about what the guy wanted to do to me. Or him sending me a message and wanting to meet me that night. SMH. It was such a disgusting feeling. So be on the lookout for those people. If you are looking for a quality relationship then they aren’t on the same path as you. On the other hand, if that is what you want then feel free to entertain them. Whatever you do please stay safe.

Step 3: Put pictures of yourself that are too revealing

When uploading pictures to your profile don’t use any that show more body parts than necessary. I’m not saying you have to be a nun or a priest on your profile. But try to stay away from booty shots or gray sweatpants showing your outline. You know what I’m talking about. You want to save something for the imagination. Make the other person wonder what is under your clothes.

Step 4: Keep information about your dates a secret

This took me a long time to understand why I needed to tell someone about what I was doing. This is about your safety. Your safety always comes first. Let someone know when you are about to go on the first and second dates. Tell them who you are going with giving them all the information you know about the individual. You also want to share with them where you are going on your date. Shoot, send them a picture of the person you are going with. Do this for the “just in case” scenario.

Step 5: Ignore the red flags.

I can tell you from experience that the red flags can save you some time. It can also save you some terrible heartache. Listen to your gut when you’re dating someone you met online. If there is a personality trait or action that doesn’t sit right with you then take note of it. If those issues continue then make a decision about if this is something you can deal with or not.

Proverbs 31: 30 Charm can fool you, and beauty can trick you, but a woman who respects the Lord should be praised.

Let me know how your online dating experience goes.

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Thanks for chatting!

Ashley J.