Ashley J Anything else is unacceptable
This title means so much to me. As you know, since your inbox has been dull and boring without me for some years, you know I have had a problem with being a leading lady. Life has been happening, and I have made a colossal mistake. I jumped the gun because I was getting traction and noticed by people who read my blog some years ago. That excited me, but I lost steam and motivation because I was moving outside God’s timing. My perception was screwed up. I lost myself and my purpose in all this, and I forgot I was a leading lady. So, God has been telling me to start at the beginning. Lo and behold, here we are. I don’t feel this is going to be something that I quit doing because I love to write, and this is where it all began. Let’s start exploring this topic.
What’s Happening?!
Hello, leading ladies! Yes. You. Reading this post. You are a lead. Ok, I know you’re like, girl, what are you talking about? My favorite movie got me through lonely times when I was single: The Holiday. Have you seen it? It is about two women who go through heartbreak, and to escape the heartbreak, they exchange houses for Christmas. I love this movie and recently rewatched it. Yes, my circumstances are different, but watching it warms my heart. One of the women had to work on her self-image, and the wise elderly neighbor made her think. He told her, “You’re supposed to be a leading lady, but you are acting like a best friend (Arthur, The Holiday,2006).” This line has always stood out to me, but it slapped me in the face this time.
What is a Leading Lady?
I can recall way too many times in my life when this line was actually for me. I spent most of my life playing the best friend and am just now learning to be a leading lady. Ok, let’s break this line down. This is a movie reference. The leading lady/ lead actress is a woman who has the lead in a movie or show. In this instance, the leads were Kate Winslet and Cameron Diaz. Another favorite movie of mine is The Woman King, and the lead actress is Viola Davis. Think of your favorite movie or show; who is it centered around? Once you’ve identified your lead actress, could you consider her characteristics? They typically are women who have a lot of things going on with them. You may see them running their careers or having much control over their lives. Of course, she has flaws (it wouldn’t be a movie if there weren’t). When you think about the best friend, she is there with the leading lady but doesn’t get as much shine. She is the one to talk sense into the leading lady, and sometimes, she is mistreated. You don’t want to be the best friend but the leading lady.
Most of us have had our fair share of complex relationships. There are many challenging ways, like going against your spirit when you know you shouldn’t be with this person, or maybe family and friends told you to leave them alone; whatever the way it happened, the relationship left you unable to recognize yourself. Then, there were times when you became so wrapped up in your career and made something of yourself that you did whatever it took to get there. Or maybe you weren’t raised to see yourself as a leading lady and settled to be the best friend. It doesn’t matter how you got to that point; correcting your self-image matters.
It’s Time
It’s time to take control of your life and stop letting people tell you who you are. From now on, look in the mirror and tell yourself you are a leading lady. You don’t let unqualified people run your life for you. You don’t let others tell you who you are. If someone else is running your life, they will run you down. I have found that taking the lead is undeniable when you are a leading lady but playing the wrong role. You might be ok with hanging in the background and allowing others to be the lead, but they are not supposed to be. Typically, that’s when you, the leading lady, get irritated. Listen, the irritation is real when you aren’t in the correct position. This is how I feel watching so many people act like they are relationship coaches/therapists but are giving people the wrong information. The information they give them is tearing their life apart rather than enriching them. When I wasn’t doing what I was called to do and witnessed the harm people were causing others, it weighed heavily on my conscience. I would get angry from what I heard. The other thing I recall doing is nitpicking messages and services I saw provided to clients. The thing is, I couldn’t complain about it because I wasn’t in my leading role. As a leading lady, I have to step up. Unfortunately, that wasn’t enough for me to take my rightful place. Almost all women who have this role go through a moment where they don’t want it or feel they got it wrong.
Did I Get This Right?
What in the world am I doing? That is a question we frequently ask ourselves. I know I have too many times. But, in my case, I let that question stop me from my job. Being a leading lady can be difficult because of all the responsibility it comes with. We have the weight of our assignment to carry, which can feel like 100 lbs. when you don’t have encouragement or see glimpses of light. It can be a bleak journey if you don’t have the support you need. Then, we decide whether to keep going or throw in the towel. The pressure becomes too much for some, and we give up. You must be sure of your role and why it was given to you. There also has to be reassurance about why you choose to be on this journey.
Maintain Your Position
To stay motivated and believe in what’s inside of you. Maintain a strong connection to God. Rely on Him for EVERYTHING. This is something that is going to take work. If it did, there wouldn’t be a need for the best friend role. Now, please don’t mistake what I’m saying, there is a need for the best friend. Stay locked in on the vision God placed within you. Bathe your mind in the word daily to help you fight off distractions, anxious thoughts, and self-doubt. You must also remind yourself that you will be who God called you. Go to the mirror and look at yourself. While looking in the mirror, repeat after me: I am a leading lady, and I will keep my position. Repeat that phrase 3 times each day. Stop letting circumstances dictate your role; continue leading with power.
Are you ready to be the leading lady? You can chat with me on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter @itsashleyjw.
God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day.
Psalms 46:5
