Dating can be so intimidating but don’t worry I’m going to provide you with the keys to guide your way through the dating world. This is the second installment of the dating series I previously mentioned. Let’s chat about The Wonderful Art of Flirting! Flirting can be so much fun. It is the beginning of so many relationships, which is why I wanted to write about how you can flirt. For some people it’s an innate ability for others it is something that they have to work at. I’m here to help those who are not so great at flirting or those who might need a little refresher. Below you will find a list of flirting tips.
It’s in the eyes…
You will often hear people talk about the power a touch has but the eyes can make a major impact on you, too. When using your eyes to flirt with someone you can get the right message across to them. Your message needs to be “hey…I want to get to know you”. I recall a time when someone flirted with me and I could tell that they were extremely interested in getting to know me. Realizing that he zeroed in on me made me feel sensual, warm, and like the most beautiful girl in the room. This is how you want to make the person feel that you are interested in.
I’m going to call this eye flirting (I know it sounds like something else involving eyes). In order to eye flirt you want to use the triangle method. Don’t just look at their eyes and other areas of the face but also look at body parts. So you can try looking in their eyes and mouth, move down to their shoulders and finally land on their torso. Make a triangle with your eyes.
Subtly Suggestive
Be subtly suggestive when you are flirting with your person of interest. By being subtle you are suggesting that your interested and want to see where things will go but also leave enough room for the imagination. You want to rub and pat their hand. Or you can give them a pat on the back but let your hand linger for a bit before removing it.
When being subtly suggestive the goal is going to be letting them know that there is a possibility that you’re interested. But, they will want to know what more is going to happen. I’m sure you have experienced this type of flirting in your life. They always pull you in just enough to let you know there is some interest but keep you wanting to know when they are going to make their move.
Excuse me, are you using that?
Here we go, this was my favorite tool to use when I was dating. Here is an example of this tool. Say you’re sitting at the bar with some friends after a long day at work. It’s a busy time at the bar because it’s the start of the weekend and its Happy Hour. Behind you is a person that you find attractive. You guys are feeling some vibes happening between you. There were a few bumps between you and the awkward “sorry” being exchanged. Now, you’re wondering what you should do next to get their attention. You decide to lean over to them and ask for a napkin.
By doing this you are testing the boundaries of that individual. If they are interested they will let you get as close as you want. If there is no interest, then they will put their guard up and ask you to move back. You are testing the waters to see how far they will allow you to go.
Show us your flirty smile…
Have you ever heard the term “you catch more flies with honey rather than vinegar?” This is putting that saying to the test. When you are flirting with your smile, don’t give them a full smile. Your smile should be a little mysterious but bright. Your smile should come across as confidant and showing interest.
Be sure to bring attention to your smile. Utilizing a head tilt, or lengthened neck are strong signals that you are flirting with them. I also find out that a smile shows healthy breeding. I don’t know how true it is but it could be a tool you can use to gain interest from the person you’re interested in.
Icebreaker
I mentioned above in my bar example that you ask the other person if they can give you a napkin. Here are some other questions that you can use to break the ice with the interested party:
Hey, how are you?
What’s your name?
Do you like coming here?
What’s your favorite thing on the menu?
These are just examples of questions that you can use. They are sure to get the other person interested in talking to you.
Give them a compliment
Sometimes I feel like people don’t always know how far a compliment can go. Compliments can boost a person’s ego so much. There is a delicate balance that you have to keep when giving out compliments. Just start with one compliment when you first meet the person you’re talking to. Don’t push it though. If you give too many compliments then you will make the other person uncomfortable.
You want to find something that is harmless to compliment them on. Be honest when you are complimenting them too. Compliment them on their clothes, their smile or even their laugh. Just find something to compliment them on and watch the conversation blossom from there.
Tell them what you want
Yes you read the heading correct. Be straight to the point after you have done some of the other suggestions listed above. When you guys are wrapped up in good conversation and you can tell that there is a mutual interest is when you put in your demand. Hey, the point of all of this is to get a date out of it.
This is how you make your demand. Simply say to them, “why don’t you take me out this week?” Don’t come right out and say this, there is a certain way that this has to be done. Grab their attention by placing your hand on theirs and then lowering your voice to show that you’re serious. That is when you make your move about them taking you out.
I hope that this guide was helpful for you. These are just a few methods you can use to perfect your style of flirting. The flirting techniques that I’ve shared with you are definitely going to land at least a great conversation with someone you are interested in.
Let me know, what are flirting techniques? You can chat with me on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter @itsashleyjw.
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