Rekindle The Fire in Your Relationship!

Let’s chat about why we need to rekindle the fire in your relationship. I have been with Tariq for the last 8 years and we have been married for 3 1/2 of those years. I can tell you first hand that sometimes things in our relationship can get pretty routine. It’s not to say they we are boring but sometimes we can become so involved in our daily life that our relationship is last on the list. Honestly, that’s just not the commitment we made to each other. Does this sound familiar? 

Here’s the deal…..

Don’t worry I am here to lend a helping hand! First, let me just say that this is totally normal. At some point in time everyone’s relationship can suffer an unintentional blow. For us it has to do with all of the different responsibilities that we have that takes priority over our relationship. Both Tariq and I are in school, and trying our best to be the best at school.

What gets in our way?

Then, we have our family responsibilities. We have a 1 year old son that demands both of our attentions. He is literally his father’s shadow and when he isn’t around it’s all about mommy. We also have a 16 year old daughter that does not live with us full time (she’s teenager so she does not need as much of our attention) we still want to spend time with her. I have mentioned before that my mom, sister and nieces all live with us. I actually try to spend as much time as possible with them. 

I’m also close to the end of my internship for school. But, if you know anything about internships, I have quite a bit of responsibility with it. Whenever I am given a project to do I typically have to bring it home and spend hours working on getting the project completed.  This is more time that’s being taken away from spending quality time with my husband. 

Don’t get me wrong we do try to have date night but we are far from consistent with it. When there is a lack of quality time in relationships the next thing to happen is a little disconnection that’s what I meant by unintentional blow to your relationship. We don’t want these things to happen but sometimes they just kind of happen. Needless to say, we were in desperate need to rekindle our fire. 

Once there is a disconnection between the two of you then small disagreements start to escalate. For instance, I can ask my husband a very simple question and I don’t like the way he answers it. My attitude shifts and next thing you know we are in a full out war. This is just an example, but mountians get made out of mole hills in these types of situations. 

What’s next???

After being disconnected for a period, it’s time to get connected again. You have to make your relationship a priority. This means putting each other before everyone and your responsibilities. We have to try everything we can to get that connection back. So now is when you do the work. Spend quality time together. You can do this in whatever way you want. For us we like to go to the movies and dinner. There are times when we will go to the park to just walk around while having deep conversation. 

We may even just spend time in the bed cuddling or watching TV. This is actually one of my favorite things to do. I used to write my husband letters in a journal that I bought for him on our wedding day. The letter could be about anything that I was thinking about in that moment. Another great way to connect is having a designated time for the two of you to read the Bible and pray together. This actually makes marriage stronger and helps to put everything into perspective. I full heartedly believe that talking to God about any and everything can change all situations. 

What our vows mean…

When we said our vows the commitment was to forsake all others. I know that people typically believe this to mean that you forsake temptation. I’m not disagreeing with that because it is what this vow means. But I like to think that we should forsake all things that keep us from each other. When we get out of sync there are so many misconceptions that come into play like I demonstrated earlier. Everyone around you will notice it. Your children will be able to sense it and they will take advantage of the two of you during this time. If you aren’t married then other people will notice that you’re out of sync and they will try you, too. 

This is prime time for temptation to creep in. The people that have been keeping their eye on you will come around and try to make the division wider. People often fall into this trap and then you have a bigger mess on your hands. Rekindle your relationship before the fire gets extinguished for good. We don’t want your temporary disconnection to become the reason for your relationship to disolve. 

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What I have to offer…

Now that we are rekindling the fire in our relationships I have another idea for reconnection. I created a 14 Day Couples Challenge that will help you with your connection. The way I designed the challenge there is a task that you have to complete each day of the challenge. You both have to commit to rekindle your relationship that’s the only way for the challenge to work. You will receive a daily email from me that explains each task. Make some time to do each task the way I spell it out for you. The challenge is truly a blessing and most of all it works. After we put it to the test our relationship has been so much better. This is what I pray the challenge will do for you too. 

I hope that this post has helped you. I want you to be inspired to get back on the right track with one another. If you join the challenge please don’t just use it during the 14 days implement tasks in your life afterwards. You guys will absolutely be tighter and more intuned with each other. 

Let me know if you are ready to rekindle the fire in your relationship. You can tell me on Facebook and YouTube @It’s Ashley J.’s, Twitter, Instagram @itsashleyjw! I really would like to hear from you. 

Mark 10:9 (NCV) God has joined the two together, so no one should separate them. 

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