How To Have Better Communication In Your Relationship!!

Let’s chat about how to have better communication in your relationship. If you are living and breathing then you have experienced difficulties in communication. It is such a simple thing to have miscommunication in your relationship. For some couples, miscommunication can happen at least once a day. What I want to do is help you to lessen those miscommunications between you and your partner.

There’s something inevitable that happens when a couple communicates with each other. They begin to find out who the other person is. You tend to be open and vulnerable with your partner when you have true communication. Dare I say that this form of communication that I’m referring to is intimacy.

Basics of Communication

Before we get into how you can communicate better I want to break down what communication is. The basics of communication are simple you have someone who is the listener and someone who is sending the message. We all should understand this, right? What some of us don’t think about is communication can be nonverbal. This means you are sending messages with your body.

Now let’s take this simple concept a step further. The person who is listening to the person who is sending the message has to interpret what they are saying. This is when things can get a little tricky. We begin to see that little word that I mentioned above-called miscommunication.

Communication of Miscommunication

Miscommunication happens when the receiver of the message does not understand what the sender is trying to convey. An example of this can be the receiver not understanding what the tone of the message is. Or maybe the sender’s body language doesn’t quite fit the message. For instance, if I was standing in front of you speaking in a calm voice asking you to pick up some fruit from the store. But I’m standing there with my hands on my hip and a grimace on my face. What would you think?

Things can get really messy when the sender has a hard time conveying the message they are trying to get across. What if I am talking to you and I become so flustered that I start mixing my words and confuse myself. Well as the listener you are probably going to be thoroughly confused about what I am trying to tell you. Somewhere there is a breakdown of communication.

Active Listening

The first way to achieve better communication is by practicing active communication. If you are in a discussion with your loved one whether it is heated or calm practicing active listening can make things go smoothly. The reason why we argue and have disputes is we are not actively listening to the other person. Now in order to achieve active listening you have to have a genuine interest in what your partner is saying.

So, instead of tuning your partner’s voice out, trying to come up with your response or judging your partner try these steps. First, give your partner your full attention. Stop everything that you are doing to listen to your partner. Second, do tune out your own thoughts. You don’t want to have an answer ready, this can come across as being aggressive. Third, don’t pass judgment on your partner while they are talking. Who wants to be judged on what they are saying? Lastly, embrace the silence that might pop up in the discussion. Silence leaves room for reflection and further understanding.

Stay Calmer Longer

Dr. Gottman is a leader in the field of couples therapy. He suggests that when you are in a disagreement it would be better to stay calm longer. It will help the disagreement to stay peaceful. Remaining calm you can have more control over yourself rather than when you are at full out war. You are unlikely to ignite your partner.

Active Constructive Responding

Now it’s time for the listener to take a role in the conversation. It is the listener’s responsibility to nurture the speaker. The way you would nurture the speaker is by being genuine, enthusiastic and having an interest in what is being said. Like I mentioned before you want to make sure that you aren’t coming up with a response to what is being said.

You have to truly just listen and don’t think about anything other than what you are hearing from that person. You can nod your head, maybe even give them a little physical touch while they are talking. What you don’t want to do is be overly touchy because they will think you aren’t listening. Your body language is also very important here. Your body language should reflect positivity.

Show Enthusiasm in Communication

You want to show enthusiasm because this can push your partner to open up more. Once they see that you are excited about what they are saying they can become more relaxed and willing to be opened. You can do this by placing a smile on your face. A smile during a conversation can take things a long way. They will see that you are being very supportive of them.

Be Interested

Being interested and showing enthusiasm can overlap. But your interest is vital to keeping the communication lines open. There is nothing worst than talking to someone who is not interested in what you have to say. One major way to combat this is by asking genuine questions. You can ask questions about their occupation if that’s what they are talking about.

An example could be when my husband is talking to me about an incident at his job. By showing interest in what he’s saying I might ask him to explain who each person is or where in the office they were. Another question I might ask is how he felt when all of this was going on.

Climate

Believe it or not, but the climate in which you are having a conversation in is important. We want the climate to be one of support for the person who is communicating. This way the person who is talking can feel the ability to be open and honest with you. A climate that shows support will be empathetic. You are understanding and able to feel what your partner is saying to you. The environment needs to be respectful and polite. It should be open to resolutions and directness.

The communicator or the listener should not leave the conversation with lingering questions. Everything should be left in that conversation because we are being open. It’s like when we are having a family therapy session in order to avoid repercussions for the parties involved, we tell them to leave everything in the office. No one is allowed to discuss the problems or what was said after the session is over. They have to wait until the next family session.

Communication is such a vital part of our relationships. The best thing we can do is make our communication better. My goal is to help you build stronger relationships through stronger communication. The demise of a lot of relationships is the breakdown of communication.

Proverbs 15:1 NCV A gentle answer will calm a person’s anger, but an unkind answer will cause more anger.

I hope this post was able to bring clarity to you about what better communication is. If you have any other ideas about better communication you can comment on this post. Or you can find me on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter @itsashleyjw.

Until we chat again…bye!